The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Okay, I've hit 28 images and I still have a bunch to go, so I'll update up to here.

>Completely ignore the Ice Dragon Statue you are fighting and instead push Whatever in front of the doorway.

You ignore the Ice Dragon Statue and push Whatever in front of the doorway to block it instead.

> Sit on Whatever.

You then sit on Whatever.



Your combined weight triggers a pressure plate, turning the pit into a giant wind tunnel.



It sucks in the dragon, the rubble, and all the pointless copies of the inventory list. A barrier surrounds the switch itself, preventing you from being sucked in.



The wind soon stops after sucking everything down the pit. You are safe now.



But your Point Meter went up by 5! This isn't good! By gaining another 10 points, your Defense has gone up by 20!

Make a pointlessness meter like your point meter that goes up when you do pointless things. However, make it punish you in exactly the same way the point meter punishes you, thus punishing yourself for every action or lack of action you take.

This sounds like an excellent idea! You get to work on it right away!



The Pointlessness meter is complete! All you need to do is turn it on and set it to track your pointlessness!

>Decide that the previous sequence of events has been interesting, so you should totally forget all about it!

But then you suddenly decide that your escapades thus far might prove entertaining to an omniscient observer! You immediately put down your Pointless Meter and decide to pointlessly forget about everything you have done so far!

>Run off and steal a cyborg lich's vacuum cleaner.

After a pointless sequence of events that you leave out because it would be very entertaining to omniscient observers, you arrive in the cyborg lich Konka Rar's castle. You have pointlessly decided to steal his vacuum cleaner. You hope he doesn't have one, that would just make this exercise more pointless.

Eat the vomit bagel cake as to cause a paradox.

You have no idea how eating a vomit bagel cake would cause a paradox, but as there isn't one here anyways, it's pointless to eat it in any case, so you do.

Sing about your adventures.

You sing a song about the pointless adventures which you have completely forgotten about.



Your singing draws the attention of Konka Rar's guards!



Two Cyborg Skeletons attack!

> Push or otherwise annoy the other ice dragon statue to make it harder for yourself.

There is no ice dragon statue here, so you attempt to push it onto the skeletons. Unsurprisingly, this has no effect.

>Command your buddypal, Ice Dragon Statue, to attack itself, which is pointless because you will be hurting your ally, not defeating your enemy

While you wait for Whatever to take his turn, you issue orders to the Ice Dragon Statue, which isn't here and probably wouldn't be taking a turn now if it was here and almost definitely wouldn't listen to you if it was.

>After the battle ends, prepare for battle!

You make a mental note to prepare for battle once this battle ends.

Help yourself and Dragon up to ride on Dragon, so you can go forth and see Dragon and Dragon.
Assume pointlessly that each Dragon refers to the least likely Dragon, especially if that particular Dragon would make no sense in that context. Also assume pointlessly that at least one of them refers to an inanimate object, and thus pointlessly assume that you are required to assume that it refers to a different inanimate object.

You come up with a pointlessly convoluted plan, and explain it to Whatever in a way which is pointlessly confusing for him to understand.



Whatever completely ignores your plan and begins square-dancing with one of the skeletons. Perfect! Explaining your plan was utterly pointless!

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Also, pointlessly come across a time machine, assume that it is a VR machine, use it, and if you come across your past self, tell it what you were told, as you assume that it was actually said in code, and thus not literally what you heard, but something else, that you haven't yet figured out. Return back to the 'VR machine' and use it to return back to reality/your present time. Pointlessly assume that you have created a paradox, especially because you have assumed that you used a VR machine, not a time machine, and thus would have no effect on reality. If the paradox beast shows up saying that you did create a paradox and your fine is still paid, assume that he said in code that you have to entertain him to 'pay' for the fine. Assume that entertain means something either hilariously inappropriate, or horrifying, such as a strip dance. Also assume that it's the Paradox Beast that's going to strip dance. Especially if the Paradox Beast has already left. If it hasn't, assume that it hasn't, and sigh that he left too soon, and then start strip dancing because it would be pointless to do so now. Also pointlessly assume that 'strip dancing' means dancing with a strip.

You can't do any of that while you're engaged in battle. So of course, that's exactly what you attempt to do!



The skeleton that isn't busy square-dancing with Whatever gets confused by your pointless antics.

> Nopor: Alternate between assuming the dragon accepted and rejected you every turn (? Or just random intervals. Or every 6 seconds. I don't care.). Rather than covering your bases, this is likely to simply waste time and confuse everyone involved, and it will require the expenditure of mental effort that would probably be better spent elsewhere, so it's quite pointless.

You decide that the ice dragon accepted your proposal.



Then you decide that it rejected you.



Then you... look, you get the picture. This only serves to confuse the Cyborg Skeleton further.



It attacks its square-dancing fellow Cyborg Skeleton!



This provokes a counter-attack.



Now they're distracted! This would be the ideal time to strike!



So you won't. Instead, you believe the battle to be over, so you prepare for battle!

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Note that commands for this battle will be rendered pointless almost immediately on the next update, so feel free to make them.