The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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I decided to do another partial update, because man do I have a lot of screenshots, and I'm still not done. So, here you go!

Attack the statue that hasn't yet come to life. And miss. On purpose.

This is even more pointless now that the other statue is a pile of rubble!



You attack the pile of rubble and miss intentionally.



Your missed attack hits a secret button on the wall.



A pit appears under the Ice Dragon Statue. Of course, since it can fly, opening a pit under it is pointless. In fact, it flies up a bit just to show you how little it cares about having a pit open up under it.

pointlessly decide that you are now the enemy that you, Whatever, and Ice Dragon Statue are now fighting. However, since that would make attacking yourself have a point, attack Whatever.

Once again, after careful thought, you decide the most pointless thing to do is to attack Whatever.



Your attack breaks Whatever out of his daze!



Thinking quickly, you blame it on your ally the Ice Dragon Statue, otherwise he might attack your enemy, you.

>Hug Whatever

You then give Whatever a hug. This is rather pointless to do, since he's attacking you, or so you pointlessly believe.

> lick whatever and then push him to the pool and use hime as a wedding ring as to propose to yourself

You lick Whatever, then push him to the pool, healing his wounds.



You offer him as a wedding ring to propose to yourself, but you shoot yourself down, breaking your own heart.

> travel back in time again and then popose to yourself using whatever as a ring

Your ability to travel back in time does not appear to work any more.



So you try to use it anyway, and repeat the proposal! It is just as successful as last time.

> sell the vomit bagel cake to the lesser paradox beast that might arrive

You attempt to sell a vomit bagel cake that isn't there to a Lesser Paradox Beast that isn't there. This has no effect.

EDIT: burn vomit bagel cake instead!

Then you attempt to set fire to the vomit bagel cake that isn't there. This fails, because you have no actual means of producing a fire.

Nopor Puss: Attempt to trigger the icicle trap again, which should definitely be pointless since it's already been triggered and you've assumed it only works once for some reason.

You decide to trigger the icicle trap, since it's already been triggered. This draws the Ice Dragon Statue's attention.



This has no effect, except to make the Ice Dragon Statue stop just floating around and actually prepare an attack.



Meanwhile, Whatever decides to attack the Ice Dragon Statue in a random manner. He shows it his watch. This does no damage, but the distraction disrupts the statue's concentration, stopping its coming attack.

Nopor Puss: Check your inventory, Whatever's inventory, the ice dragon's inventory, the other dragon statue's inventory, the Janitor's inventory, and the inventory of the third and fourth members of the party, and write all of this information on a list. Make a pointlessly large yet otherwise useless number of copies of said list.

You begin checking all of the various inventories, and making a list of everything on them.



You then make a large number of copies of the list.

Nopor Puss: If the ice dragon's inventory would burden you or give stat penalties any worse than your current outfit, make sure to steal them from the dragon in order to assist the dragon's combat abilities, but afterwards not wear any of the equipment. This is because although said hypothetical equipment would burden you, that would make doing pointless things too easy, and they may turn out to be too useful in specific situations. This assumption is more pointless to make than its inverse (wearing said clothing) because you have plenty of evidence of equipment being too useful occurring anyway in your past experience.

You once again carefully consider the situation in order to determine the most pointless course of action.



First, you read every copy of the inventory list you made. Since they're all identical, it's pointless to read more than one.



Then you conclude that the dragon has no useless equipment in its inventory. In fact, it has nothing whatsoever in its inventory.



So you attempt to steal from it to get its nothing! And fail.

Whatever: Resolve to obtain a cloth shirt and corduroy pants at some point, which should closely approximate functional nakedness without any of the associated effects of being naked. This is clearly a random thing to be doing while frozen in a block of ice.

Yes, it is! You should definitely do that the next time you're frozen in a block of ice.

Nopor: Propose to the ice dragon

After failing to steal nothing from the ice dragon, you decide to propose to it.



It roars at you. You aren't sure if that's a success or a failure.

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More commands coming soon!