The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Welcome to the Anniversary Update for the Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Of course, the actual anniversary was May 23rd, so it's pointless to declare this the anniversary update. So that's what I'm doing!

Note that I'm not done yet, but I'm expecting it to take a while to get screenshots together for all the commands (yes, I am doing all the commands), so I figured I'd do a bunch and then show you where I was.

>Do some sort of Bros. attack with Whatever because he's frozen.

Excellent idea! A combination attack won't work if one character is disabled, so it's pointless to try one!



You jump on the block of ice Whatever is encased in, waiting for him to throw you. Which, of course, will not happen as long as he is frozen.

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SpoilerA word of thanks to my good friend YK, who put together the frozen Whatever sprite.

The dragon calls forth a freezing breath that fills the room, but only up to a certain height. Being on top of the ice block, you are completely safe. Drat!

>Do the macarena

You do the Macarena while standing on top of Whatever's ice block.



This completely fails to teleport you to Macalania Temple, which you were expecting it to do for no reason.

Get your tongue stuck to Whatever.

You jump down and lick the ice block. Your tongue actually gets stuck to it!

Then, pointlessly assume you can just walk away as if your tongue isn't stuck.

You assume this. Now that you've assumed this, it's pointless to stay here, since you assume you can just walk away, so you do.

Pointlessly declare this action as winning the battle, especially if the battle is already over.

You declare that assuming you can walk away makes you win the battle.



Since winning the battle would probably have a point, you stop assuming you can walk away. So you try to walk away!



But your hands and feet are also stuck to the ice block, so you can't.



So you keep trying!



The ice dragon statue is getting very annoyed by your antics. It flies up in preparation for its next attack.

Then, pointlessly attack the other ice dragon statue. Claim that it called someone "Dragon", and for that it must pay.

You decide that the most pointless thing you could do is attack the other ice dragon statue, which hasn't come to life. Especially since you can't move very easily.



Dragging the heavy ice block along with great effort, you pointlessly accuse the statue of calling someone "Dragon", as a pointless justification to your already-pointless attempted attack.



Your desperately flail about, somehow flinging the ice block into the other statue.



This smashes the ice block, freeing Whatever, and destroys the other statue immediately. It seems it was just a statue and doesn't come to life. Whatever is dazed from the collision, however.



The ice dragon, meanwhile, has finished its attack, but it was only prepared to swoop at where you were before you started flinging ice blocks around. And you're not there any more, so it missed.

After that battle, decide to call everyone you see, and don't see "Dragon".

You start calling Whatever and the Ice Dragon "Dragon".



You also start calling the Lesser Paradox Beast, the Janitor, the GiantMonst, the narrator, and everyone else you have encountered (or not encountered!) on this adventure "Dragon".



The fish in your chest vanishes and hits you on the head, then falls back in your chest again.

As the dragon is a guard monster, it is very likely it would be programmed to resist all attempts to charm it or persuade it to your side. This would make any attempt to do so pointless; however, as it's possible you would succeed, it is more pointless to pretend you have already done so and treat it as an ally from now on.

After carefully considering the situation, you decide that it is pointless to treat the dragon as your ally. So you will!



The Ice Dragon Statue does not join the party, but you pretend it does!

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SpoilerMore to come. I have a plan for all the rest of the pending commands, but I'm expecting to take somewhere around 50 screenshots and felt this was a good point to take a break.

Feel free to make more commands, but don't be surprised if they end up being saved for a third update. Also, if any commands made at this point relate to the ice dragon battle, they will end up being irrelevant by the time I get to them, and therefore pointless, so feel free to continue making such commands.