The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>You're in New York, go get some really good bagels

Yes! Perhaps this ornate palace is actually a bagel store!



In which case, it would be pointless to look somewhere else for bagels. So you will!

>Missile Launcher: Blow up Satan. His head is high enough.

Satan is out of your firing range!

Do whatever commands are directly above and below this one.

Above: "Blow up Satan." Well, he's not here, so it's pointless to try to blow him up!



You start an explosion somewhere that Satan isn't. Now, what's below this command?



"Eat the sign before anyone gets a chance to read it." All right.



But wait, somebody might have read it before you got here! You'll have to go back in time to eat it before it can be read!

Anyway, eat the sign before anyone gets a chance to read it.

You just analyzed this command! But on the other hand, there's a small possibility that no one read the sign, which means you *could* do this without traveling back in time. So it may not be pointless!



But wait! You have an idea!



You read the sign. It says, "Welcome to the Ice Palace of Nageed Cinimod." Now you definitely have to go back in time to eat it before it can be read!



Which means it's pointless to eat it now. After all, you'll just have to eat it again once you can travel back in time.

BAGELS, BOY. GET THEM BAGELS.

Well, this ice palace now seems much less likely to have any bagels, since the sign didn't say "Bagel Shop". So that's where you'll look!



What the...? This room is filled with frozen bagels! Your pointless plans have been foiled once again!

SHOVE 'EM UP YOUR POOPERS.

You've been set on fire twice recently. You have severe burns down there. Frozen bagels would only ease the pain, so that isn't pointless enough for you!

> Spin around, using your fingertips to slice the sign into bite size pizzas, then shove them up your poopers... AT THE SAME TIME.

Considering you already ate the sign, and pieces of wood are likely to aggravate your burns, this is definitely pointless!



It is also incredibly difficult to convey with still images, so instead we'll cut to Satan wandering too close to the missile launcher.



Ooh, Satan isn't happy about that.



And now back to our story. Somehow, your pointless antics have resulted in the door to the next room opening.



Also, Whatever shoved a frozen bagel down his shirt while you were doing that, because it was a random thing to do. His Ice resistance has increased.