The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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> Whatever: Fall asleep

Whatever falls asleep, totally at random.



He then randomly wakes up and asks what he's missed. Curses! That was pointless, and you didn't think of it first!

Pointlessly destroy any teleporters you come across. Clearly they would be a way out, and thus, would be pointless to destroy.

What an excellent idea! You'll destroy that one over there first.



But wait! It's being protected by a missile launcher. You'd better take your wings out so you'll be a flying unit, and thus vulnerable to it.



The missile fires on you.



The attack knocks you to the ground. Your wings appear to have stopped working, so you're in no danger from the missile launcher. Well, you'll have to do something about that before you can destroy the teleporter.

Pointlessly change your gender status. Doing so is either impossible, or would have absolutely no effect whatsoever on the quest.

You ask Whatever if he knows of any way to change your gender. It turns out that he does. Well, in that case, it's more pointless to ignore this knowledge.

Since you do pointless things, you should do something with a point!

This reasoning doesn't make any sense.



Which means there's no reason why you should listen to it!



You put the key and fish in the chest and put it in your inventory. You're certain the key will be useful, so this has a point, even if the other two items won't help you at all.

>Raise point meter.

It'll be pointless.

The Point Meter goes up by 1, but this is a result of your picking up the chest with the fish and key in it, not because you simply willed it. You believe the latter because you have no reason to.

> Stuff bones down your shirt and walk around like a gorilla.

If anyone gets that reference, I will be amazed.

You don't get the reference, but it sounds pointless. You start gathering bones.



You have unlocked the UNDERSHIRT equipment slot. You now have the Bone Undershirt equipped.



You walk around like a gorilla. So does Whatever, because it's really random. Your pointless hatred of him increases.

>Anagramize yourself from NOPOR PUSS to PORNS OPUS

You consider this, but then decide that this might confuse somebody trying to kill you with a Death Note. That's enough of a point to deter you.

Stick your sword in that there toaster.

You don't have a sword!



So you stick your nonexistent sword in the toaster. Which is not plugged in. Of course, it *is* in the middle of a pool of lava...



You are electrified by nonexistent electricity flowing through your nonexistent sword. In addition, you are actually set on fire.



You put your nonexistent sword away, inexplicably putting the toaster full of cards in your inventory at the same time, and realize that the nonexistent electricity and existent flames are about to make you pass out. You have time to do one thing before then, you'd better make it not count.

>Read Dominic Deegan in its entirety backwards.

You write "Dominic Deegan" on a slip of paper, then read it backwards. "Nageed Cinimod". This strikes you as a sufficiently pointless action to do before you fall unconscious.



As you black out, you hear a voice coming from the teleporter... "Destination selected: Nageed Cinimod. Please enter and prepare for transport." Drat, maybe that wasn't so pointless.



You wake up sometime later in a snowy field, outside some sort of extravagant palace. Whatever and the strange man are still with you. For no reason at all, you believe you are in New York City.



Back in Hell, Satan returns. He's upset that someone destroyed his back door, and reduced his throne to rubble. And what the heck is that missile launcher doing there?