The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Stare really, really, really hard at the device.

You stare at the device. Just as you hoped, absolutely nothing happens.

>Try producing a Neotank from the radar.
The radar isn't a troop-producing structure, so this is pointless!

SpoilerShow

For recognizing the reference, you unlock a special bonus!

Crappy-quality video of my greatest gaming accomplishment ever.

That sounds pointless! You head over to it and begin manipulating the outside, reasoning that all the buttons that do anything are probably inside.



You somehow manage to produce a missile launcher. Fortunately, there are no air units around, so it will be completely useless to you.

yell FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
azs loud as possible.

You yell it at the top of your lungs.



Absolutely nothing happens. Success!

>Dance! Everybody dance!

You go to great lengths to gather everybody who has appeared in the adventure so far, even if they're dead, and take them to a dance hall. You also bring along a few inanimate objects for good measure.



Then you DANCE!



Except none of that actually happened. However, you believe it did because you have no reason to.



Your Point Meter increases by 1, because you now know what the amulet thief looks like. Even though there's no reason why you should.

>Declare the point meter itself pointless, thereby making it impossible to win.

You do so. Now apparently it's impossible to win, or so you think.



Of course, if it's impossible to win, then there's no reason to keep trying. So you will!

> Pick up toaster, throw it into the lava behind you.

You pick up the toaster.



Then you throw it into the lava. Much to your dismay, the toaster seems to be fireproof.

Then put the cards into the toaster

This is going to take a while, and will probably accomplish absolutely nothing. Perfect!



You manage to throw every single card into the toaster's slots. (You moved the amulet to get one. You probably should move it back, but you could have just reached over the amulet to take the card, so moving it was pointless anyways.) Of course, you can't reach the toaster to turn it on now, and there's no way you could plug it in anyways.

>rival in pointlessness: appear and challenge your rival to a duel to the death

Your rival suddenly appears out of nowhere! He is Whatever, the Hero of Randomness. He does most of the same sorts of things you do, but he does them because they're random, whereas you do them because you're pointless.



This means that you have no reason to make him your enemy, so you do. As for him, he thinks having a pointless enemy is really random, so he goes along with it.



Whatever challenges you to a duel to the death, figuring that it's really random to show up in Hell and do that. You're pretty sure you have no reason to accept these conditions, so you do!



A battle has begun!

then commit suicide once he's accepted figuring that it would pointless to win.

Whatever thinks to himself that while it would be pretty random to commit suicide after starting a duel to the death, if he did that he wouldn't be able to do more random things.



So instead, he randomly surrenders and randomly offers to join your party!



Seeing no reason why you should allow your longtime rival to accompany you, you accept his offer!



Whatever has randomly joined the party.

Do something that an omniscient narrator comments on.

Pac-Man already comments on all of your actions! He'll do this no matter what you do.



Whatever notes that it's really random to think that Pac-Man is narrating your every action, so he decides to think that, too.