Duct Tape

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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The only solution is to shoot the cow out of the sky so it stops being news. Make your own plane and give chase.

You get to work on assembling another duct tape jet so you can take down your cow and stop these news broadcasts from interrupting your TV shows.

As soon as you finish the jet, your duct tape car runs you over, gets in the new jet and takes off. Man, stupid ungrateful duct tape creations.

You pick yourself up and go inside to find that the news is now on a 24-hour special jetwatch, pre-empting every program on every channel. Looks like you're not getting to watch your soaps any time soon.

> Make your own tv channel and exciting daytime soap out of duct tape. Watch that instead.

You decide to take matters into your own hands, and start acting out your own soap opera with duct tape figurines inside a duct tape television set. After six episodes, you hear a knock on the door. You go over and answer it to find a bespectacled man in a suit carrying a briefcase.

"Mr. Pacut?" he says.

You nod your head.

"I'm here on behalf of the producers of the hit soap opera The Contrived And Complex. It has come to our attention that one of the central cast members on your little show has an identical character arc to Jack Spencer of the aforementioned program. We are therefore issuing you with a cease and desist order on the basis of copyright infringement, and should you continue this performance of yours, we will issue a lawsuit. Do I make myself clear?"

Well, this is just great. Now you're facing a lawsuit. How will duct tape get you out of this mess?