Duct Tape

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>Build a duct tape car and head to the nearest river or lake.

You make a car out of duct tape and start driving it. Unfortunately, because the road is all torn up, you can't even get off your own street. Man, stupid roadwork ruins everything.

>Construct an aqueduct and pump system out of (wonderfully water-resistant) duct tape and connect to nearest water source. If for whatever reason your pump doesn't work, go get that elevator from the giant skyscraper you left sitting around and use that instead.

You construct an elaborate pump system to get water through the city. Unfortunately, before you complete it, some cars drive through the streets and knock over key supports.

Stupid drivers. Don't they realize you're trying to help them get water?

Make a fake cloud out of duct tape and begin to entice real clouds to come closer so you can get the precious water out of their bodies.

Now that's an idea. You create a duct tape cloud and fling it into the sky. Except it's not light enough, so it comes falling down to the ground.

The real clouds don't seem to be particularly interested in a duct tape cloud all the way down here. Stupid clouds.

I am irate at those interlopers in our duct tape tower! Quickly make a duct tape deed of ownership and planning permits and stuff, make them pay back rent or whatever! We cannot abide this terrible injustice!

Frustrated at your failed attempts to get the water back, you decide to take it out on those wealthy laundromat owners. You create some paperwork out of duct tape and tell them to pay rent or else.

They pay you quite a bit of money. It seems your duct tape skyscraper is the most popular building in town. Unfortunately, the city confiscates the money from you in fines to pay for the machinery you broke, and then they get back to the roadwork. They say they'll get the water working later.

> Just drink the milk instead.

Using, uh, duct tape. Make a duct tape straw.

Frustrated, you make a duct tape straw and drink some milk as you watch TV. You've just learned that Biff was kidnapped six episodes ago and replaced by his evil twin cousin Steve! Except, the Biff/Steve standing by Miranda insists that Steve/Biff is the actual evil twin cousin and is just pulling a bluff to take Biff/Steve's place! Miranda is holding them both at gunpoint; will she shoot the right one?

Just as she fires, though, the broadcast is interrupted by a news bulletin.

"Attention! Witnesses have described a cow flying a jetplane and terrorizing the citizens. Strangely enough, both cow and jet appear to be made of duct tape."

Well. You can't let this stand. You're going to have to do something.

You missed the thrilling conclusion because of this news broadcast! How are you going to fix this? (With duct tape, of course.)