Pete the Peasant's Alphabet Funtime
12-01-2011, 05:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-02-2013, 12:23 AM by Dragon Fogel.)
Hello everyone! I'm Pete the Peasant! I'm here to tell you all about the Kingdom of Turnipland! Our King is a great and wise and just ruler and we have to do everything he says, and we certainly don't only call him great and wise and just because that's what he says to do and... wait, does anyone else hear horses?
CRASH!
Ow. Oh dear. It seems I was standing in the way of a company of His Majesty's knights, and now he's rather upset with me. So I've been summoned to the castle. This will be an excellent chance to show you our King's justice!
"Attention, peasant! You will bow in the presence of His Majesty, King Turnip XVII!"
Oh, yes. Bowing. Very important. Excuse me a moment.
"Pete the Peasant! This is not the first time you have been summoned before me."
Ah. No, it isn't, Sire. And may I say I'm very honored that you remembered my name...
"Silence! I have decided upon your sentence for disrupting my knights."
And this is the medieval justice system! The King decides if you're guilty or not, and then he decides how to punish you if you are. It's very efficient, as you can see. I wonder what my sentence will be?
"You are to spend three months in the dungeon, under the supervision of Terence the Torturer."
And now we see the other part of the justice system: the appeals process! Pardon me a moment.
Please, oh wise and benevolent King! I beg of you, show mercy on me!
"Hmm. Perhaps."
Oh, this is a good sign. He's thinking about it. He must have been impressed with the way I cleaned out the royal stables with my tongue last week.
"I have made a decision. I will spare you from the dungeon if you can complete the task I set before you by sundown."
And what might this task be, oh glorious King?
"You, Pete the Peasant, must teach all the boys and girls out there about the Alphabet. Succeed in this task, and I shall grant you a full pardon. Dismissed!"
Well, that went better than expected. I just need to teach all of you about the alphabet. Won't that be fun?
Now if only I knew what this "alphabet" thing was. Where do you suppose I could find that out?
CRASH!
Ow. Oh dear. It seems I was standing in the way of a company of His Majesty's knights, and now he's rather upset with me. So I've been summoned to the castle. This will be an excellent chance to show you our King's justice!
"Attention, peasant! You will bow in the presence of His Majesty, King Turnip XVII!"
Oh, yes. Bowing. Very important. Excuse me a moment.
"Pete the Peasant! This is not the first time you have been summoned before me."
Ah. No, it isn't, Sire. And may I say I'm very honored that you remembered my name...
"Silence! I have decided upon your sentence for disrupting my knights."
And this is the medieval justice system! The King decides if you're guilty or not, and then he decides how to punish you if you are. It's very efficient, as you can see. I wonder what my sentence will be?
"You are to spend three months in the dungeon, under the supervision of Terence the Torturer."
And now we see the other part of the justice system: the appeals process! Pardon me a moment.
Please, oh wise and benevolent King! I beg of you, show mercy on me!
"Hmm. Perhaps."
Oh, this is a good sign. He's thinking about it. He must have been impressed with the way I cleaned out the royal stables with my tongue last week.
"I have made a decision. I will spare you from the dungeon if you can complete the task I set before you by sundown."
And what might this task be, oh glorious King?
"You, Pete the Peasant, must teach all the boys and girls out there about the Alphabet. Succeed in this task, and I shall grant you a full pardon. Dismissed!"
Well, that went better than expected. I just need to teach all of you about the alphabet. Won't that be fun?
Now if only I knew what this "alphabet" thing was. Where do you suppose I could find that out?
Spoiler
There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse