Hip-Hop Squirrel Epidemic: Chinese Cardboard Revolution

> Hong and Ya. Song Shu is made of SQUIRRELS!

>Dragon Fogel: Appear.
>Dragon Fogel: Fight evil rapping squirrels.

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You assemble your team of Hong, Ya, and Dragon Fogel.



Up ahead, the open door to the world exists. Far off in the distance, but growing louder, is the sound of sweet beats. The Hiphop Squirrels will be here soon.

The brown wall is your BASE. The green is areas in which squirrels who enter are attackable. It's your range, essentially.

The black tokens are:

Large: Hong: Cannot move, but adds much to range.

Small: Ya: Moves speedily. Adds little to range.

Medium: Protagonist: Good old fashioned medium.

Yellow: Dragon Fogel: Useless but for morale purposes. His death would cause much sadness.

On the right are health bars, which contain below them the first letter of whose they are. The purple bar is how much time before sunrise.

Soon the first squirrel will arrive- and doubtless, the combat tutorial.

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The Sweet Beats You Hear:

SpoilerShow

Whee outdated defunct video URLs!

Wow, four days? I really suck.

Anyhoo.

Dragon Fogel and Protagonist: Go convince some squirrels to defect to your side.

Excellent idea! You ignore the carefully constructed game mechanics and leave half your party behind, venturing out unprotected onto the streets.



You encounter a squirrel. He lays down some beats of warning.

"Yo, homo sapiens straight outta the factory,
Ain't you come to bow down to the squirrels' hip-hop mastery?
Or you got some blasphemy, design to get a pass from me,
Well man you stand at the corner of the dude and catastrophe"

"I come in peace, I--"

"Yo, don't step on my beats, guy!
I'll serve you up stir-fry
Feed you to the girl inside.
My squirrel eyes surmise your fear and surprise
So I surmise our spies' disguise still flies?

Word to the wise, if you're looking to negotiate
I'll hook you up, initiate a sit-down with the bitchin' great
MC who sees through your feeble beats,
he'll bring you to your knees if he is displeased,
I ain't teasin', but I can tell that you ain't listenin' to reason
So if you want the boss up in it, I can get him in a minute."

Well, that went well, and largely without your participation. You wait for just about a minute.



His voice is like a chorus of angels.

"Yo, all humans shade your eyes,
Cause this squirrel don't plagiarize;
We all flauntin-danger guys
And we don't take strangers' lies.

If you design to align your peeps with mine,
You'll find I've a mind to chew the fat to the rind
I ain't unkind, but I turn blind to beggars who come lackin' rhymes
If you packin' sublime lyrical dimes, nickels and dollas,
Maybe we'll become some cooperative' fuckin' ballas,
This MC sees that these beats you got may not be on par
With those come from trees, but no pleas, don't expect no heart
Nor no mercy. You thirsty? Boo-hoo, I've got rabies,
Put down yo' rattle, in this rap battle, we don't allow babies.
Put your heart an' your ass in this, it's a party of assonance,
Best hope your rhymes don't come tardy, I'll pass a glance
At two squirrels with the type of guns shoot automatic,
Might be problematic when your body leaks like the Titanic.
I'mma give you a proper oppurtunity,
If you plan on wooin' me, throw down some hip-hop lunacy."

Think fast!

the background is not china

The squirrels have overthrown the government. Obviously they're going to make a few changes.

> STAAAAAAAAB

Lay down the fattest beats you've ever laid down, ever!

You weigh the options of fighting the squirrels with your powerful cardboard claymore, or simply accepting their rapping challenge.

stab stab stab stabity stab-stab,
stab stabity stab-stab stab stab,
stab stabity stab-stab-stab!
stab-stab stabity stab?
stab-stab-stab stabity,
stab-stab, stab stab stab!

You compromise with a rap about stabbing.



The Boss Squirrel is impressed!

"Yo dawg, I thought your hip-hop was gonna be drab,
but that's the best rap I've heard with just the word stab!
Just like I said, I'll sign up, but not before
my homies give you the official score!"



"Whoa! Compared to you, my own rhymes are crap!
You managed to get a perfect score on this rap!"

Your rapping has earned you a perfect 100 in Speed, Power, and Technique! Which is apparently an S-Rank. You aren't sure exactly what the categories mean, but you're quite pleased with yourself.



But that's not all! Dragon Fogel's "Perfectionist" ability kicks in, because of your perfect score! Every time you get a perfect score on a battle or minigame, his rank will go up by 1. On this rank-up, he has only gained stat boosts, but if you can increase his rank more, he may acquire new abilities!



In addition, you now have a squadron of Hip-Hop Squirrels of your own. Be warned, though, that their starting Loyalty is low. In order to avoid a mutiny, you will need to either supply them with nuts, or regularly demonstrate your rapping skills.

ask the boss squirr

Second

You ask the boss squirr "Wut is my biscuts?"

He dunno!

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Did you mean Ask the Boss Squirrel?