Hip-Hop Squirrel Epidemic: Chinese Cardboard Revolution

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SpoilerSo some years back, there was this Adventures a Little Different contest and I was in it with Archduke and LP and we made this and then it died.

I'm bringing it back as a Puppy Mountain adventure, which means anyone can update. Go crazy!

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SpoilerThis is Team Lord Foginand's entry for Adventures a Little Different. Team members are Archduke_Ferdinand, Lord Paradise, and myself. Be forewarned that my drawn segments will be terrible.

Somewhere in the world, a mysterious menace stirs.



Suddenly, they strike!



The Hip-Hop Squirrels have come, and they are spreading throughout the world.



Within days, they overthrow the Chinese government, and take control of most of the nation. In the confusion, Japan launches an invasion, retaking some of the territory it lost after the Second World War.



You are a Chinese sweatshop worker. Your employers are so cheap that you don't even get color or adequately-drawn limbs. You weren't all that fond of the government, not that you'd ever have said that, but you don't like the squirrels or the Japanese coming in and taking over. So you have decided to fight back.



But all you have on hand are the remaining sweatshop workers (management fled once they heard the squirrels were coming in) and a large supply of the factory's main product...



...Very cheap cardboard.



But that does not matter. What matters is that you are the only hope against the Hip-Hop Squirrel Epidemic. You are... The Chinese Cardboard Revolution!

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SpoilerYes, it's two randomly-generated titles in one adventure!

>Fashion Cardboard Armor and Corrugated Swords for your army.

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Very well! You enter the BATTLE READY CARDBOARD STATION.

Unfortunately, the other workers have been hogging the cardboard to make shelters, like the selfish people they are.

You can make Cardboard Armor and Corrugated Swords right now, then you must choose whom amongst your team to give them to before tonight and the squirrels come.

On the left is Pliable Cardboard. On the right is Hardstyle Cardboard.

Swords from Pliable Cardboard will be Mediumswords. Good for light, quick thrusts.

Swords from Hardstyle Cardboard will be Claymores. Good for cleaving and smashing.

Armor from P.C. will be Light Armor, good for mobility.

Armor from H.C. will be Heavy Armor, good for defense.

Choose your material, and then get ready to go choose your team.

Make claymores and light armor.

Also, switch back to Dragon Fogel's obviously superior drawing style

Wow, this sure is great for mobility! And this sword is absolutely viable as a smashing/cleaving item!

Despite your basically limited supply of cardboard, you should honor the country's party-limit law and only arm two of your co-workers.



Ming is the youngest worker in the building. Pros: Young, fit. Cons: Young, stupid.



Ya is your only female co-worker. She's pretty well-rounded although it's hard to tell under the cardboard the stupid sexist joke demon has been defeated by your strikethrough.



Hui is an old guy. Pros: Wisdom of age. Cons: Feeble and ready to die. Basically the cardboard is holding him together right now.



Hong is like twenty feet tall. Pros: Like twenty feet tall. Cons: Like twenty feet tall.



In his own words:

"Good morning sir my name is Song Shu
If you don't know me it's because I'm new
Before you pick party members 1 and 2,
Let me tell you what I got to offer you.

Perfect stats, both wise and strong
In the prime of my life, been alive pretty long
Androgynous enough to maybe be a girl,
I'm ready to crush the iron fist of the squirrel.

Rest assured that I got my teammates' backs
If there are spies in the group I'mma follow their tracks
I got it covered, sir, so you can relax
While we kick this revolution up to the max."

Well, it seems that they all have their strengths. Who will you choose? Keep in mind you can always go back and get another party member if one dies.

Hong

Okay, you're going to include Hong on your team. But who else? Maybe that Song Shu guy? Sure, you have a vague bad feeling about him, but you can't argue with that catchy song of his.

Song and Shu > Sloppy Makeouts

Um... It seems Song Shu has decided to retreat his head and hand into his armor, and he's doing... something. You aren't sure just what, but you have a strong suspicion that it's extremely perverted. Maybe you should pick somebody else.

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SpoilerThose are supposed to be squirrel tails, in case anyone's having trouble interpreting my crappy excuse for art in that panel.