A Very Serious Adventure

As you clean your face, you reflect on the mission. Frankly, even the very description of it is ridiculous, but you don't have much choice in the matter.



Let's start from the beginning. Ultimately, what you're here to do is stop a war.

You are here to find the Cursed Temple of Ra, a charming little mom-and-pop diner that's been stolen from Moderate Consterlenbourgh, possibly while working in a Nopor Puss cameo or two. (You DESPISE him.)

It all began when a certain troublemaker who had nothing to do with either country decided, for no reason at all, to steal Moderate Consterlenbourgh's prized Cursed Temple of Ra (piece by piece) and hide it in Zazuzu Zuzezula.

You are searching for an ancient artefact with a name so stupid you flatly refuse to repeat it out loud.

The theft of the temple alone wasn't much of a problem, but within the temple (according to legends, hidden in the depths of the kitchen), there was an artifact of great importance to Consterlenbourgh's prosperity. The artifact was called... ugh, no, you don't even want to remember, it was so incredibly stupid. Let's just call it the Artifact for as long as we can help it. Nobody's sure what it actually looks like.



In any case, the loss of the Artifact soon brought both nations to the verge of war.



This was made worse by the fact that they didn't share a border.

>You're supposed to help the king of Zazuza... Zazuzazu... this land pick some new court jesters by judging a tomfoolery competition.

However, the Heavens have noticed an opportunity to solve this problem. According to tradition, Zazuzu Zuzezula has a competition for a new court jester every year at about this time.



And, according to Zazuzu Zuzezula law, the new jester must be officially ordained at the Cursed Temple of Ra, where they must complete a series of trials to prove themselves truly worthy.



You've got to make sure the right person wins, and follow them to the temple so you can retrieve the Artifact and end the war. There are just two problems - well, aside from the silliness of the whole business.

>You are here to help dispose of some unacceptably serious paperwork that has been making far, far too much sense. With fire.

The first obstacle is a legal one.



When the Jesterial Ordainment Act was originally passed, the Cursed Temple was all the way over in Moderate Consterlenbourgh. Consequently, there are efforts being made to change this, with a rush to complete them before the contest, because the law just isn't as ridiculous if the temple is in the same country.



The legislators working on this aren't very happy, because they've had to cut corners and actually make some sections of the new law sensible, which threatens Zazuzu Zuzezula's national reputation.



But they're on the last page, after which they'll just need the King's signature.



You'll have to delay the process so that this year's winner is still sent to the Cursed Temple.

> To keep watch over a clown who entertains children

The second problem concerns the actual winner of the contest.



If an unworthy jester takes the trials and fails, the temple will collapse on top of the Artifact, destroying it.



To prevent this, the Heavens have sent you to guide one Jonathan K. Chucklesworth, currently working as a children's entertainer, to enter the contest; Johnathan has been determined to be the most worthy of the honor.



However, the Heavens believe that the forces of evil may try to interfere, in hopes of prolonging the war.



So you need to find this Chucklesworth person, keep him safe from any attackers, and make sure he wins the contest.

In short...

You're here because, for some reason or another, God hates you.

Somebody up high really doesn't like you.



Anyways, you've got to fix this whole mess somehow. Where are you going to start?