Nopor Puss Advice Column

Dear Nopor Puss,

Could you please not answer my question?

- Colin Tradictory

Once upon a time, there was a talking wallaby. But he never had anything to say, so no one else was aware of his gift.

He lived an unremarkable life in Australia and he was happy with it.

Dear Nopor Puss,

What's your favorite brand of fruit crate?

Once upon a time, a powerful wizard came to Australia and announced that he was going to cast a spell turning the entire continent into a quicksand pit. Then he heard a voice behind him. It said, "You shouldn't do that, it's a bad idea."

The wizard turned around, but he only saw a wallaby standing there. He concluded the voice must have been his conscience and decided not to cast the spell after all. He went on to have a highly successful career as an opera singer.

Nopor Puss,

Please cease and desist. You have copied content from GAC, which is a violation of copyright law. Remove the content immediately.

-GAC.

Once upon a time, there was a once-famous opera singer. He was incredibly jealous of the new famous opera singer who everyone loved. He went to Australia and announced that he was going to turn everyone into talking wallabies.

"That's silly," said a voice behind him.

The famous opera singer looked behind him and saw only a quicksand pit. He concluded that the talking quicksand pit was right, it was a silly plan. So he didn't go through with it.

He went on to have a highly successful career as an evil wizard.

Once upon a time, there was a quicksand pit with a talking wallaby in it. The wallaby didn't think it was worth calling out for help, so he just sank into the quicksand and died.