The Firebird and Three Princes

Demitri: Forget about that horse and just call for another servant, and then ride him.

Wait, what are you doing? Chasing after a horse is beneath you! You're the future Tsar, after all!



No, this is a job for a servant.



Now you just have to get your horse back. Technically, you could ride to the goldsmith's like this, but that would be unprincely. You need to pull up on a horse, after all.



But this servant isn't nearly fast enough. He'll never catch up at this rate. How can you properly motivate him?

Ivan: Cry. Nobody can resist a crying child.

"Wah! Dad never lets me do anything fun! I just wanna start my own Communist revolution, is that so much to ask?"



"Well, uh... I guess you can, for a little while... What the hell is a Communist revolution anyways?"



"Yay! Okay, okay. You and I will be the proletariat, and we're going to seize control of the means of production!"

"Um... sure thing, Your Highness. Just one question - what does all that stuff you just said mean?"



Huh. You don't really know either. It just sounded good at the time.



On the other hand, you could just make something up and tell him that's what you meant. So what are you going to tell him?

Vasilii: Try to find information on firebirds' habitats and weaknesses. That's the most pragmatic place to start.

Blah blah nobody knows much about firebirds blah blah some say they like to eat gold but we have no real evidence blah blah blah...



Man, this is so boring. And it's not even very useful! It's like nobody knows anything helpful about firebirds.



Then again, there's a lot of books here. Maybe one of them has some useful info... But there's so many of them...

Vasili: Find someone you can boss around and make them read the books for you. Have exciting adventures.

Wait a second! You can get a servant to read the books for you. Then they can tell you about the good parts while you go and do something else. Something more fun than poring over all these boring books.



Although... Most of the servants have specific jobs, and your father doesn't like them slacking off. You can get the occasional quick favor, but something like this would take a few hours.



Still, there's one guy who usually isn't very busy.



OH GOD DAMMIT



Well, that's just great. You're either going to have to find some way to get the poor guy back from whatever Dimitri's doing, or you'll have to get somebody else to read for you. Or worse, read all those boring books yourself.

What's the plan?