Post making contest: easier mode

HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE 1987 WORLD SERIES!
Between two teams who I don't care to remember the names of!
OH NO! It looks like a person has come onto the field of play! WHAT WILL WE DO NOW???

[This shitpost here to make the grading post visible]

Rules this passes:

g0m: 1, 2
Lankie: 2,3
Sruixan 1: 3,4
Reyweld: 1, 2, 3, 5
Wheat 1: no rules
Fogel 1: 1, 4, 5
Ix 1: 1 ("teams"), 4 is ambiguous (does "grading post" count as having an adjective?)
Laser 1: 2, 5
Mehga: 5 (unless and are counted as words)
Anomaly: 3
Wheat 2 (FINAL DESTINATION): 2, 4, 5
Crowstone 1: 3, 4? (shorter than Kieros' sig image)
Wheat 3 (LIGHTNING ROUND): no rules
Akumu 1: 4
Laser 2 (PMC Memes): none, previous post passed no rules
Akumu 2 (Good Conversationalist): none
Schazer: none
Wheat 4 (Wheat 1 with rules reordered): none
Akumu 3 (Megaman): none
Earthexe: 2 ( and look pretty happy to me)
Solaris: none
Dragon Fogel 2: None
Kaynato 1: 4, 5 ( and are animals, so I guess that passes 5?)
Ix 1.5 (Coup): 1, 2
Sruixan 2 (SRUIX HELL): Doesn't pass 1-3, I'm not checking 4 and 5.
Crowstone 2: 4 (unless smilies count as BB code), did not check 5 but it probably won't pass
Kaynato 2: uh, I don't think it passes any of these but some of them I didn't quite understand
Laser 3 (Apollo 18): 5. I am assuming 1 is "exactly eight i's", this has more than that.
Fogel 3: none
Akumu 4: 5; I didn't check 1 but it's so short it probably doesn't pass.
qwerx3 1: didn't check 3, it doesn't pass any others.
CrimsonMage: Doesn't pass 1-4, might pass 5 if shitpost counts?
qwerx3 2: 2, I didn't check 3
Kieros 1: 4, 5
qwerx3 3: Doesn't pass 2-5; I haven't checked if a larger number than 1987 has been used this round
Kieros 2 (Blast from the Past): 3
a52 1: 3, 5
Laser 4 (Fingertips 2): Fails all regular rules, passes negarule 1
Fogel 4: 2
qwerx3 4 (Speed Grading): none
Sruixan 3 (Grief): none
Reyweld 2 (Seven Deadly Sins): 5
btp (Jim Belushi): none
Ix 2 (One Piece): none
a52 2 (Homestuck): 4, I guess, since being at the 1987 World Series is impossible? (Also, if "person" were replaced by "man" this would pass 3.)
Laser 5 (Tally Hall): 3
Sruixan 4 (Year of the Reboot): 2, 3, haven't checked 4 and 5 but 1987 is a prime and there are a few words that might not have popped up in Ix's round.

Somebody else can check Easy and maybe the rules that take effort. No ruleset was passed in its entirety.