Post making contest 6.0

REVELATION TO KÍEROS - CHAPTER 6

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¹As I watched, the fremp shitposted the first of the TWELVE lubrications in the Post Making Contest. Then I heard one of the five glitter texts say with a voice like g0m, ²I looked up and saw a white weird dog standing there. Its rider carried a golden .45 revolver, powered by dreams. shoots lightning, and a crown was placed on her head. She rode out to win many battles and gain the victory.
³When the fremp shitposted the second lubrication, I heard the second glitter text say, ⁴Then another weird dog appeared, a red one. Its rider was given a mighty keyblade and the authority to take peace from Eagle Time. And there was war and slaughter everywhere.
⁵When the fremp shitposted the third lubrication, I heard the third glitter text say, I looked up and saw a black weird dog, and its rider was holding an analytic balance in her hand. ⁶And I heard a voice from among the five glitter texts say, but not actually in glitter text because by golly is this a long quote, "A loaf of Wheat or three loaves of Sanji will cost today's top poster. And don't waste the sample text and Sruix's updates."
⁷When the fremp shitposted the fourth lubricaton, I heard the fourth glitter text say, ⁸I looked up and saw a weird dog whose color was pale green. Its rider was named Death, and her companion was Rules Hell. These two were given authority over one-fourth of Eagle Time, to kill with the rules and tricks and Swamped's rigorous updating schedule and robot kitties.
⁹When the fremp shitposted the fifth lubricaton, I heard the fifth glitter text say, ¹⁰I looked up and saw a rainbow text weird dog, and its rider was holding the true alphabet in her hands. She rode out to meme like none had ever memed before.
¹¹And then the fremp shitposted lubrication like seven more times with even worse stuff happening, but I was too distracted, because I had come up with rules for the Post Making Contest from the Five Weirddogswomen of the Rulespocalypse:

1. Conquest
   
2. War
   
3. Famine
   
4. Death
   
5. Memeing

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g0m