Order and Chaos

maybe it's not so bad for the large universal constructions to be gone tbh

"Is it really that much of a problem that we've removed metaphorical, mystical, and symbolic constructs from the universe?" I asked. "I mean, what did we really gain from having an actual old man who represented winter? It's not as if we could ever negotiate with him for less harsh winters, he just took that as an insult."

"I think Mr. Commun Marx has a point," said Herman Cain, President of the United States. "And just look at the bright side! We're living in a world where dreams and reality intersect, so I can finally be President and I didn't even have to win an election to do it."

"Wait," Mary said suddenly. "So does that mean, if I dream of being reunited with Adeline..."

There was a long and awkward pause during which Mary failed to be reunited with Adeline.

"This is no fair at all!"

"Um," I said finally. "I think the issue with your dream is, since Adeline isn't actually alive, any Adeline you could encounter would be a mystical construct. Which, erm, have all been killed."

That's when Mary shot me, and I realized I had done an absolutely horrible job of calming her down.

"Commun. We are going to fix this."

"But how? Fixing this kind of mess would be the domain of the god of dreams, and seeing as all gods are metaphorical, mystical, or symbolic constructs, well, I think you see the issue we're in."

"Wait, all gods?" Milton asked from the other castle. "What about mortals who ascend and become deities?"

"There used to be some, but Malcolm killed them all. Every one of the surviving deities was a construct. And everything I'm aware of that could potentially grant a mortal deific powers was, as well. So we're stuck. Unless some mortal attained godhood after the war without ever telling us, which is such a ridiculous scenario that I can't even imagine it."

Mary shot me again when I finished explaining that. I was really doing an awful job of calming her down.

"As President of the United States, I really don't appreciate you plotting ways to take the presidency away from me," Herman Cain interjected. "Even if you don't have any hope of doing it."

"Well tough," Mary shot back, both verbally and with her gun. "You're in Vendet, not your United State or whatever, and that means I'm in charge."

"Technically, Mother is," Milton said. Mary shot him, too. Maybe it would have been a good idea to get that gun away from her somehow.

---

Meanwhile, as Mary was causing an international incident, I, Milton Felus, was becoming aware that I was now the god of everything, because all the other gods, being metaphorical, mystical, or symbolic constructs, had been crushed by a cosmic dumpster.

But I was just a cat, so I had been unaffected, other than suddenly taking on every single responsibility in the entire universe.

Which meant that it was up to me to fix this whole mess with dreams creeping into reality. So what was I going to do about it?