Order and Chaos

>A Ginormant Bird. Mister, such largeness could only be captured with a fresh word.

Of course! There was a bird of such immense size that a new word had to be invented to describe its sheer scale! It had been... sealed away by the gods? And maintaining the seal had been overlooked in De's reorganization of everything? And...

No, wait. There was no bird. That was very disappointing to me, Video Kojima, because I would have very much liked to use it for one of my elaborate games. Or as part of my plan to bring the old pantheon back.

But! As a genius, I surely had a way to make it true, didn't I? All I had to do was...

> open computer, begin composing disappointed letter to angry birds founder Mikael Hed

...contact whoever in charge of birds. No doubt that was a deity. Of course, I, Sir Nose, being a celest, had a high level of expertise on deities, and so I knew that the current God of Birds was Mikael Hed. Using this device that I, Video Kojima, had created, I prepared writing a letter to convey my disappointment that he had not created such an impossibly large bird.

Once I wrote it, however, I realized that I needed to actually deliver it to the god. And the best way to do that was...

Punch him. Right in the face.

To punch him in the face. Because I, Richard Doomcall, intended to be the next Malcolm Vindictus, and so I knew that force was the best way to get my message across. Especially to a god, which I could easily access because I, Sir Nose, was a celest and could therefore request his presence at any moment.

So I did, and before he finished asking "What do you want, Nose, I'm busy," I punched him in the face. Then I, Video Kojima, handed him the carefully-constructed letter in which I explained my grievances with the lack of a sufficiently ginormant bird.

None of those, of course, were the loose end I, Chwoka, was referring to. However, it is crucial to understand that, with so few gods, Mikael Hed was also the god of the boundary between dreams and waking. And the powerful punch of myself, Richard Doomcall, was strong enough to knock Mikael Hed unconscious.

And when the god who governs the boundary between dreams and waking himself looses his grasp of wakefulness, well, there are certain consequences. Namely, that dreams may begin to come true.

Which brings us to the loose end I, Chwoka, mentioned earlier, and in fact was responsible for in the first place.

That's when I realized I was being followed.

"Who are you?" I shouted. "Show yourself!"

Oh ho ho ho, but how can I who am I and show myself when I'm not?

So I wasn't show yourself... I was being tailed by a Nothing! And also was! I must have been marked for death... I thought quickly, assessing my surroundings. I roundhouse kicked one of the wheels of the Great Cosmic Dumpster and then ran! The wheel came flying off and then also crushed and killed the Nothing, along with all the metaphorical, mystical, and symbolic constructs in the universe, which was bound to have repurcussions.

In short: all the metaphorical, mystical, and symbolic constructs in the universe had suddenly been killed. I also realized in that moment that I was the Nothing, and I too would perish unless I did something to prevent the encroaching dream-world's influence upon me.

And that's when I...