Post making contest 4.0

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Passes rules 1, 2, and 5.

The next round begins.
It's snowing on mount Fuji.
I am the poster.

Passes 2, 3, 4, and 5.

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Passes 1, 2, 4, and 5.

The thethe thethethe thethethethe thethethethethe thethethethethethe thethethethethethethe thethethethethethethethe thethethethethethethethethe thethethethethethethethethethe thethethethethethethethethethethe thethethethethethethethethethethethe thethethethethethethethethethethethethe

Passes 1, 3, and 4.

AP PA

Passes 2 and 5.

This is update #214.

I didn't get to watch yesterday's episode of War of the Worst when it came out because I was too busy trying to make Civ work with Windows 10. But now I've seen it...

• ...did Mark literally run his pursuing scout into Sjin's spearman, killing it and thus dashing all chances of him retrieving his civilians? Because that's what it looked like to me...
  
• oh wait there's a warrior coming too so maybe the chances are not so slim
  
• SMIFFY THAT IS NOT HOW YOU STEAL A WORKER FROM A CITY STATE
  
• (he didn't make peace straight afterwards, so his scout got bombarded as the turn ticked over, and then he didn't make peace at the start of the next turn so he got zone-of-controlled into the barbarian brute that will now doubtlessly kill his scout and take the worker)
  
• SMIFFY OPENED LIBERTY HE HAS ONE CITY
  
• Tom is building a settler in his second city. Um.
  
• ...and two archers and a warrior do not make an invasion force.
  
• hey Trott hey you can see what penalties your units get when attacking others in the panel down the bottom
  
• oh it turns out Smiffy did not actually know how to make peace
  
• uhhhhhh okay so that is a battering ram
  
• it's worth noting that the Huns have two unique units! The horse archer is really fucking cool! You get a handful and run them back and forth, killing off the units defending the city and then eventually chipping off its health, then you roll up with the battering ram to finish off the job
  
• Tom to Sjin in chat: "bring up armies" *Sjin builds a ten turn fishing boat*
  
• SJIN LOST THE WORKER HE STOLE FROM MARK TO BARBS AAAAAAAAAAARGH
  
• Rythian has built a road between his cities! Oh my goodness! He's honestly too good for these people...
  
• ...do I think Tom is competent enough with warfare to wipe Mark out? Because Mark certainly isn't competent enough to defend...
  
• Tom battering rams are siege units please do not run them straight at the enemy warriors thank you
  
• Smiffy: "Guys, I've done nothing to antagonise anyone" by which he actually means "I HAVE DONE NOTHING"
  
• Trott why are you walking that settler to the tundra have you seen the land around your river system
  
• Tom is still building a settler in his second city, thus proving why you shouldn't build a settler in your second city...
  
• MARK TAKE THAT BARRACKS OUT OF YOUR QUEUE YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
  
• Turn 51: Smiffy does not have Masonry so cannot improve his stone. He is four turns from Civil Service, but he has no freshwater farms, despite being settled on a river.
  
• seeing Trott's second city having just a monument and a library is really urgh
  
• like if you are gonna just rush build your library at least have the decency to then construct your National College
  
• (especially if you turned the settler for your third city around meaning it'll take a fair time to get to wherever the hell you've now decided to send it)
  
• ...okay I am now concerned that Tom might manage it...
  
• they're joking about Sjin asking Reddit for help with his gameplay but he literally did this
  
• well Mark on the plus side at least I can finally see that you got Stone Circles for you pantheon shame you only get faith from quarries that aren't actively on fire
  
• Trott if you want to trade your whales maybe you should improve the other source of them that's right next to your capital just saying (it is a perfectly valid thing to trade for another lux before you hook up your duplicate just to guarantee you get a trade, else Rythian might find someone else to swap with in the interim)
  
• Trott just research the fucking wheel already before the calendar hits anno domini please
  
• MARK
  
• just a nice archer behind Exodia to complement your spearman inside it that would have worked
  
• Mark: "I didn't realise Tom was so fucking close" he's really not he's marching those battering rams through a fuckton of jungle I dunno how he's gonna deal with such a spread-out empire given how I'm prepared to wager he doesn't already have the wheel
  
• oh Mark you've still got the city bombard cursor that's the reason you can't select anything just right click please I don't want this to be the reason you lose because then you'll be salty and blame it on the game
  
• LOOK AT THE CURSOR IT'S BRIGHT RED THAT IS CLEARLY NOT NORMAL
  
• okay there we go
  
• could somebody please just build a fourth city already
  
• (I know that in a lot of cases this would first require people to build third or even second cities, BUT STILL)

tl;dr - knock knock, who's there, it's the Huns

End of message.

Passes rule 5.

It may be verified that rule five is passed in this post.

Edit, for length.

Passes rules 2 and 5.

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Passes rules 1, 2, 4, and 5.

This is update #215.

So they accidentally made two episodes available today, and despite having unlisted the sixth one quickly I've still got the link. Having said that, I don't think I want to spoil myself, soooooo...

• Trott: "how do you move an archer unit onto a barbarian camp" try using the MOVE function
  
• okay Tom cannot take Exodia any more by the looks of things (especially if he queues up the moves on his battering ram like that)
  
• Sjin: "I'm building a settler right now for some reason" *twitch* YOU HAVE TWO CITIES
  
• oh Rythian built Petra I thought he had like four desert tiles
  
• Smiffy: "is Belgrade a city state or does that belong to somebody" DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A CITY STATE LOOKS LIKE
  
• and now, a musical interlude
  
• Rythian: "are there shitloads of barbarians around your main city Smiffy?" Smiffy: "yeah" THE NEAREST BARBARIAN IS SEVEN HEXES NORTH guess you're not getting that trade route from the civ whose caravans help you
  
• oh they've managed to actually communicate this well done
  
• Trott: "when a city state requests a luxury and I have that luxury, when I establish a trade route does it automatically go through that?" Rythian: "yes" *twitch*
  
• TROTT THAT WAS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT LUXURY QUESTS FOR CITY STATES ARE COMPLETED THE MOMENT YOU ACQUIRE A COPY OF THAT LUXURY IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TRADE ROUTES WHICH ARE AN ENTIRELY SEPARATE MECHANIC AND HAVE THEIR OWN TYPE OF QUEST
  
• oh Rythian realised he was wrong, then Trott disputed it and then Rythian backed down to his original WRONG position
  
• so Mark and Tom are making themselves irrelevant good to know
  
• Smiffy: "can I build a road when it has a pasture on the same tile?" YES
  
• Trott is correct the automatic road builder is complete shit
  
• it is turn 63 Sjin still hasn't settled Sinai it is six tiles west of his capital
  
• huh there's a city state buffer east of Rythian that's even better for him IF HE COULD JUST SETTLE SOME MORE CITIES
  
• like his capital is great and all and that second city is a lovely blocker city but LOOK AT HOW THERE'S AN ENTIRE PENINSULA UNEXPLORED TO HIS WEST LOOK AT ALL THE EMPTY LAND TO HIS EAST
  
• yeah Tom won't be able to get that battering ram through Archer Avenue
  
• Smiffy: "hey Rythian I'm building a road between us" YES THAT IS TOTALLY USEFUL AND OF TOP PRIORITY
  
• Chefchaouen (the second name the Huns have stolen from the Moroccans) is one of those ill-mannered forward settles the AI tends to spring on you, often just as you're running your own settler to that area. Normally also the AI manages to settle it precisely one tile off the optimal spot, but I don't think Tom's done that here; with the observatory bonus for mountain adjacency removed in the mod, it's fine to settle off them, and having the spices in your first ring is well worth it - plus it leaves room for another city on the river to the west...
  
• TOM YOU DO NOT NEED FOUR BATTERING RAMS BUILD SOME FUCKING HORSE ARCHERS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE
  
• Mark: "I need to get a second city out... maybe even get a third city out" uh huh uh huh
  
• (you may also want a worker to deal with the fact your entire empire is on fire)
  
• SJIN BROUGHT A MOUNTAIN SO HE COULD BUILD MACHU PICCHU THAT'S AN ACTUAL COMPETENT PLAY
  
• OR IT WOULD BE IF HE HAD ANY CITY CONNECTIONS THAT WOULD BENEFIT FROM IT
  
• (like he doesn't even have the one between his two cities and that'll scarcely be worth it BUILD MORE BLOODY CITIES)
  
• Mark: "is there a way to see [how many cities people have]?" yep Rythian correctly points out that you can see this in the trade menu
  
• TROTT IS GOING TO FOUND HIS FOURTH CITY BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
  
• BESHBALIK IS FOUR TILES FROM SINAI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• Sjin: "I founded a city, although give its location you might as well call it a shitty" THEN WHY DID YOU FOUND IT THERE
  
• LOOK ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SCOUT WEST AND SEE IF YOU CAN SETTLE THOSE DESERT HILLS AND STILL HAVE ENOUGH FOOD THE BANANAS WOULD SUGGEST SO
  
• then you'd have room for your fourth city a little further up that river towards the land that YOU STILL HAVEN'T SCOUTED YET JESUS CHRIST
  
• why are none of these people capable of realising that once a unit has taken its action that turn its symbols greys out and it can't perform any more no matter how many times you click frantically
  
• SJIN NO
  
• NO WAIT MARK NO
  
• WHY CITADEL THERE IF YOU'RE GONNA CITADEL BUILD IT TOWARDS TOM
  
• YOU KNOW, THE FRONT YOU'RE GETTING INVADED ON

tl;dr - FOUND SOME MORE FUCKING CITIES PEOPLE

End of message.

Passes rule 5.

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Passes rules 1, 2, 4, and 5.

Sruix I am learning that you like Civilization a Lot.

Passes rules 2 and 5.