Post making contest 4.0

I am.

The last piano living solvent anywhere. Eighteen.

Passes 1 and 2.

Reyweld these are our leads:

1: Each word must have MORE letters than the previous.
2: Usually passes, don't worry.
3: First word is "The"
4: Unknown. Haikus have stood a good chance of passing so far.
5: Unknown. "I" and "you" and "VI" wait, I think I have it, actually, but I'm not going to tell you.

Passes 2 and 5.