The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 29: UNINTELLIGIBLE!

Username: This field is highly relevant and totally not a holdover.
Name: Kowtch
Species: Human/potato hybrid
Gender: Undetermined, Kowtch is unresponsive to inquiries
Text Color: #020022

Biography: No one knows just whose terrible idea it was to combine human and potato DNA, but the resulting abomination destroyed three entire laboratories before it was subdued in a nearby waiting room.
When retrieval personnel found Project Kowtch, it was sitting in a chair and taking root. Its visual sensors were clearly transfixed on the news report about a missing white woman.
Further testing revealed that attempting to remove Kowtch from its seat or turning off the television set would simply enrage it. However, changing the channel seemed to have no apparent effect. It also seemed to take no note of any particular type of content - even advertising left it docile.
However, this containment procedure was highly vulnerable to power outages or technical difficulties. So, for improved security, a new television set was constructed which could broadcast indefinitely. If no compatible signal was found, it would instead generate a program based on real-world events happening nearby.
Fortunately, Kowtch and the new set vanished before anyone could think of ways to apply it to make government surveillance even more intrusive.

Description: Kowtch resembles a large potato with human legs and arms. It can see and hear, apparently, but it has no clearly visible organs with which to do so.
Kowtch sits in a comfortable chair and is always transfixed on its television set. It will not do anything so long as the chair and television remain undisturbed.
If they are disturbed, however, Kowtch gets very upset.

Weapons and Abilities: Kowtch has no weapons. In theory it could hit someone with the chair or television, but it's never been known to do that, even when provoked. It does have immense strength and resilience, however; furthermore, it's rumored to have gradual regenerative abilities.
The television set is only compatible with a narrow band of broadcast signals. If it cannot locate any such signals, it will instead display events happening in roughly the vicinity of one city block.
It is uncertain if Kowtch is actually paying attention to the content of the television programs, but hey, someone else might catch a glimpse of what's going on.