Consistency

"whoops, did any of you see that?"

It turned out they hadn't.

All this time, I'd been under the impression that Whoops was a popular show, but the truth was, almost nobody remembered it. I wasn't going to be able to coast by on fame alone, as I'd planned.

But without my fame, what did I have to offer?

"You guys aren't some sort of sci-fi hivemind, are you?"

It was a stupid question and I knew it immediately after I'd asked.

"Of course not," they replied back in unison. "We're a fantasy hivemind. There's a difference!"

That wasn't a good start to the negotiations. I needed to make up for it - not just apologize, but show some kind of gesture of understanding. But what could that be?

"Ok, I know what this looks like, but I have a really bad but actually true explanation for it"

The editor scowls at you.

"Look, I told you. Our collage is for false stories only. I don't care if it's true and sloppily written, that's another collage entirely. You need to get me a false story in the next twenty-four hours, or you're out of a job. You get me?"

Well, this is trouble. How are you supposed to get him a false story now that you've lost the ability to lie?

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SpoilerWhat? The same gimmick twice in a row? Don't worry, next update will be more in line with what you've come to expect from Consistency.

Whatever the hell that is.