Zoostuck 3

switch to trying to make the party really great

One thing immediately becomes clear. You have to save this party in order to ruin it. The thought disgusts you as a matter of principle, but you sure you'll get over it once you make sure everyone else is having a miserable time.

For now, though, you have to make this a party to be proud of. And that calls for drastic measures.


First of all, you pull out the Superman poster that you've been carrying with you for as long as you can remember. You were never quite sure why, but it seems clear that now is the moment for it.

You pin it up on the wall, and the party is saved!

Except, nobody seems to be noticing. Goddamn it, Superman, if you can't save one freaking party how are you going to save a whole dang planet?

party, hardwise

Well, if Superman's not going to do it for you, you'll just have to take matters into your own hands. You're going to show all these losers that you may hate parties, but you're a better partier than all of them put together.

So you challenge the party-ruining jerk to a dance-off. Naturally, because he's a jerk and convinced he's better than everyone else, he accepts.

Or at least, you're pretty sure he's accepting. It's hard to tell because he's still ranting about parties and the universe and how much he hates Denmark.

kill them metaphorically on the dancefloor and literally with a knife

So you dance. You dance like you've never danced before, which isn't that hard because you've never danced before.

It's not all that impressive, really, but it's still way better than what the other jerk can do. He's just kind of storming around angrily.

Wait. Did he not accept after all? What a jerk! You embarrassed yourself for nothing! Well, then, you'll make him suffer for that.

You grab a knife from a nearby cake and just stab him through the heart and...

Wait, he's not dead.

In fact, he's just laughing about how he can't be killed, ugh, this is so stupid. Screw this, the party's already ruined, you're just going to watch TV.

You turn the TV on and, ugh, it's the news. There's a big announcement about how some guy named Will Smith has just claimed the throne of Denmark and outlawed cheese. Whatever, you don't care about cheese.

Also he's apparently outlawed the party you're at. Oh, great. Now the cops are going to raid the place and that always makes a party better. What a jerk that new king is.

Oh, and apparently he's keeping the previous king's Mark laws in place but not applying him to himself.

Now that is the last straw. You hate this new king guy so much.

You are now King Will Smith of Denmark, and frankly your plans advanced way faster than you expected.

You were thinking you'd have to take over one country at a time and ban cheese in each of them individually, but it turns out once you took over Denmark most of the people in the universe started hating you before you even passed any stupid laws.

In fact, as far as you can tell there's only one person left in the universe who doesn't hate you. You'll have to take care of that before you can get yourself killed.

So who's the last person whose hatred you have to earn?