The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 29: UNINTELLIGIBLE!

Name: Connie Schumer
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Text Color: Focus groups found #35BDEF to be the most appropriate color for the requested task.

Biography: Connie is an Information Systems Manager at Integrated Conglomerate Co. Inc., which is at the forefront of the industry. (Exactly which industry that is, no one is entirely sure.) Connie is a proactive and energetic employee who is talented at leveraging the strengths of others. (She makes everyone else do all the work and then claims all the credit.)

Connie's duties involve making sure that ICCI's customer data is up-to-date and properly communicating with other departments. (She's in charge of data mining.) Connie's behavior in this position has been exemplary. (We don't actually understand what she does, but it makes us lots of money and that's what counts.)

Unfortunately, though Connie has been a model employee, we cannot recommend a raise in salary at this time. (We want that money for ourselves.) Nevertheless, we look forward to continuing to work with her in the future. (We'll keep her on at the same salary until we can find someone who works for less.)

ADDENDUM: Connie cannot be located. She is nowhere in the building, and has not been seen at her home in two days. This is extremely unprofessional and we are very disappointed in her. (We wrote up this whole stinkin' evaluation for nothing.)

Weapons and Abilities: Connie is pretty much a perfectly ordinary woman. She's okay with computers, but no expert.

What she's really good at is convincing people that she's more skilled than she actually is. Usually this involves getting somebody else to do the actual work. This may not seem particularly applicable to a battle to the death, but Connie is willing to adapt her talents to new situations.

Description: Connie is a middle-aged woman in a business suit. She's used to navigating the corporate workplace and basically treats everything as an extension of it. Most of her conversation consists of meaningless business metaphors and corporate buzzwords.

She looks forward to participating in this highly competitive environment and intends to demonstrate her full potential. Though she wishes her potential competitors the best, she fully expects to prove herself the most suitable candidate.

She is definitely not terrified for her life and desperately trying to hide her fear. No, definitely not.