Zoostuck 3

change your name to mark smith

Why would you do that? It's already Mark Smith. Maybe Mark Puss would do that, but you're not him.

And it wouldn't throw anyone off the track, because your old name would still be in the public records. Even if you made a public statement categorically rejecting your old name, people would think you were just faking it to avoid getting caught.

You're going to need more than that to fend off the coming accusations.

be mark e. smith, iconoclastic lead singer of rock group the fall

Suddenly, an idea strikes you - you could just pretend you've been a Mark Smith all along. There were plenty of Mark Smiths before the name law went down, after all. Why couldn't you be one of them?

In particular, why couldn't you be a signer in a rock group... oh, wait, your middle initial is V, nobody's ever going to buy that story. You need a new plan.

Become a smither of marks

Hell with it. You'll just run off to Germany and run a counterfeiting operation to cover your tracks. Nothing good will come of staying here.

The only problem is, how are you going to get to Germany? You don't even know where it is.