Zoostuck 3

> go to a nefarious pay-day loan lender. That's where the real party is!

You don't even know where to start looking for one of those! And this guy on your shell keeps poking you if you try to move in a direction he doesn't like.

Issue a debt/equity swap with a bank in Nicaragua

You have no idea how that works, and you can't get to a bank anyways!

declare yourself a sovereign nation and mint your own fiat ca$h to pay yourself off with

Oh, this plan might work! You can totally designate right here to be a sovereign nation. Except, um, you don't have any paper or anything to print money on.

bitcoin

Suddenly, an idea strikes you! Digital currency! You don't need to print that on anything! You promptly declare the creation of the Snailvanian Bitcoin and order fifty thousand of them transferred to yourself to pay off your debt.

There, that's settled. You race off towards Porlock at a speed no snail should be able to imagine without being on fire.

However, as you cross over the border into Denmark, you suddenly find yourself filled with an inexplicable rage. You despise this place, and you don't even understand why. You have a deep-seated hatred for this entire country that just seems to have spontaneously manifested. It's like there's some kind of universal law that you have to hate Denmark.

You are now Zoosmell Pooplord and you're at this party, and it's great and all, but you have the strangest feeling that you're in Denmark, and this thought makes you really mad for some reason.

What are you going to do about it?