Zoostuck 3

a deadly case... of murder

Your first thought was murdering your way to the party, mostly as a way to make more people hate you. But you don't actually have anyone to murder, and... oh, wait, now you do!

So now the only problem is that you don't actually know how to murder anyone. And this seems like an awkward thing to ask about.

You're going to need... A SNAILMAN

Just then, another stupid idea strikes you. You have a snail and a frail old man, both of whom move quite slowly. But if you combine them, the slowness should cancel out and they'll be really fast!

You're pretty sure that's how it works.

Anyways, you may not know how to murder someone, but you do know how to merge two separate beings into a single abomination. You promptly do that, then get on the Snailman's back and order it to take you to the party.

You are now the Snailman. You are horrified at what you have become. You possess the shared mind of the two entities who compose your deeply disturbing body, and you realize that you totally would have won that bet that you were trying to back out of and dammit now you owe yourself a ridiculous amount of money, which you don't actually care about.

Also there's this guy on your back demanding you take him to a party. But you can't do that without resolving your internal financial issue.

What are you going to do?