Order and Chaos

Sunshine, sand, clear water, brightly colored fish: it looks like some sort of tropical shore that may or may not even be part of your realm? Jeez, was there a teleporter in the spawning grounds or are mermaids just really fast swimmers?

I saw a beautiful beach before me. It was calm, gentle, serene. It was actually disorienting, to realize that I didn't have to do anything for once in my life. If I wanted, I could just sit here for hours, watching the water flow and the fish swim, not having a care in the world.

But I couldn't relax like that. I just didn't know how to. I immediately found myself with dozens of questions, starting with where exactly I was. I had no sense of how far the mermaids had taken me. They claimed to work for my father, but what if they had made a deal with Milton instead, and guided me away to some remote island? Or dropped me off in hostile territory? For all I knew, I could be anywhere. I couldn't see anything remotely familiar...

no, you're still in the same moat, just on the other side of the castle

...until I turned around and saw the castle behind me, across the moat. And in that moment, I realized just how confined I had been. Even when I was outdoors, it was still on the castle grounds. All this time, this beach had been so close, and I knew nothing of it until tonight.

I was learning a good deal about myself on this journey, and it had barely even begun. Here I was, nearly twenty years of age, learning nothing save how to be a queen. And how much was I even learning about that?

I didn't even know what I wanted. I'd wanted to get out, but now that I had, where was I going? Was I looking for a lover? For friendship? For a hobby? Or did I simply want to, however briefly, understand what it was like to live in my father's kingdom?

What was I trying to do?