Zoostuck 3

internet memes

You've been trying that! But somehow, none of your memes have caught on! Nobody's doing anything with the Porlock Party Pumpkin, for instance, and the Twitter page you made for the party has somehow managed to get negative three followers.

You need a different approach.

hm, i'm stumped. looks like the only solution is more impatience

And the approach you decide on is getting mad at everyone for not liking and subscribing and coming to the party! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU DO YOU NOT LIKE PARTIES?

Three hours later, all you have to show for your impatience is another negative follower. It's like you're in an artificially constructed reality where the Internet doesn't allow you to contact anyone outside Porlock! But that would be ridiculous.

A literal party virus should do it

Of course! You want this party to go viral... so why not breed a virus that will make people want to come here and let it spread through the world? Sure, you may not know anything about viruses, and it may make whoever arrives more susceptible to subliminal suggestions from sentient towns...

That was a weird thought. You clearly never had it. Instead you thought of a very detailed diagram of the virus' RNA along with all the knowledge needed to manufacture it. That was a very convenient thought to pop into your head!

You are now that guy with immunity to the town's subliminal suggestions who was heading to the Badlands to find a wet blanket. Where are you at the moment?