Zoostuck 3

glance at your watch and remark about how you're so glad that the dryer at home must be done running, so you can come home to some fresh and dry towels and not some lame wet ones that nobody will ever like, like ever.

The idea has some appeal, but it's not quite subtle enough. He'll know it's directed at him. You can't give him the satisfaction of thinking he got to you.

Besides, your dryer's been busted for three weeks. That's why you're headed this way in the first place.

arrange a bunch of dry leaves and twigs and such into a base for a campfire, then VERY CASUALLY set it on fire with a discarded cigarette and walk away, setting the entire forest on fire

This would be a perfect idea if not for the fact that you quit smoking this week. Yeah, it's not going to last, it never does, but fact is, you don't have a cigarette. Or even a lighter. Hell, you threw out all your matches. You were really determined to quit this time, even though you knew it wouldn't last.

You're going to need another approach.

Introduce termites

Termites. Perfect. All you gotta do is get some to eat away at the base of that loser's tree so he can't use it any more, and he'll have no idea you were responsible. He might suspect, but he'll never be sure.

Now you just need to figure out where you're going to find some termites. Where in Denmark could they be?