Zoostuck 3

install a GPS

Why would you put a Gnome Parking Service on a phone? You find it hard to believe there are a lot of vision-impaired gnomes out there who need help with parking. For one thing, vision-impaired gnomes probably shouldn't be driving in the first place.

speech to text

Ugh, you're just not getting any ideas. You decide to try giving an inspirational speech to your favorite book as a brainstorming exercise, but it doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere.

become a ghost so you can show people an example of just how killer your great prices are

You aren't really looking to die in order to sell more phones. If you were going to do that, you'd just wait until you starved from not selling enough phones. There's got to be a better option.

or you can say that you're a former master thief, so you would know when you see some prices that are a steal because of how criminally low they are.

What a great idea! You'll abandon the cover identity you worked so hard to craft and use your criminal past as an advertising gimmick! That's not going to get you caught by the Porlock authorities you're on the run from!

Ugh, what a bunch of pathetic ideas. You might as well work on that Gnome Parking Service, it's the best thought you've had.

You are now a vision-impaired gnome and you need help parking your car. How will you solve this difficult problem?