Zoostuck 3

that guy

Impossible. That Guy is the other narrator, the one who's narrating from beyond the grave or whatever. And as a purely narrative entity, That Guy cannot wear the moonglasses.

Even though he can wear almost every pair of sunglasses in existence.

So it must be...

this guy

This Guy? Who's This Guy and where did they come in?

You're This Guy and you aren't wearing sunglasses. Or glasses. Or eyes. In fact, someone stole them, just so they can start hoarding and wearing sunglasses!

Wait, what? Hang on a second, I need to work through this.

You are This Guy and your eyes were stolen, possibly by a bizarre narrative entity so that it could wear more sunglasses. Somehow you have stumbled into a thrilling climactic battle and you can feel a pair of glasses of some kind falling onto your face over the disturbing cavities where your eyes used to be. Hopefully these glasses are opaque enough that you won't horrify people when they see your face.

You also have this vague feeling that you have somehow acquired amazing powers that are tied to the very nature of the universe. How are you going to use these powers, and to what purpose?