Zoostuck 3

suplex the canal back into position

Suplex? That doesn't sound like a spinjitsu move at all! Besides which, you're the President, you have other people to do the work for you. Except they're all lying down on the job and you need to wake them up.

moustache

Fortunately, you know the perfect way to get these loafers back on their feet - your fine moustache! Its mere presence imbues your words with additional authority. You just need to pose so it's more prominent and...

"GET BACK TO WORK!"

Wait, something seems to have gone wrong here. I never use dialogue for the character I am narrating...

Oh. It appears Teddy Roosevelt has forcibly cast off the narration. It seems that when he access the powers of his moustache, he is beyond the control of any narrator.

So who am I going to narrate for in the meantime?