Zoostuck 3

who were you in the old universe, anyway

Oh, you were an evil wizard or something. You remember reincarnating in a bunch of forms with your evil magic. Eventually you ended up as a high school and a bunch of stupid stuff happened in your vicinity. However, in the process of that whole mess you discovered the forbidden arts of spinjitsu and also uncovered Jogh Edgebert's nefarious plan and since he was really uncreative, you gave him some ideas that made spinjitsu supreme in this universe, since your magic would be too risky.

It also occurs to you that your arch-rival is here. One day he will become a great spinjitsu master and train a student capable of defeating you. However, you can't just kill him because his bones would eventually be dug up and reanimated and he'd become President and eradicate all evil in the world, just like what happened when you killed him in the last version of the universe. On the other hand, you've got decades before there's any chance of him messing up your plans, so you don't really have to worry about him too much.

max, relax, coax

So instead you decide to enjoy your younger years. You've got plenty of time before you become the supreme schemer of this universe, and you're totally not a pawn in someone else's scheme. You're just going to relax and... oh, right, Roosevelt probably wants you to dig a canal with spinjitsu.

Well, screw that. You didn't study the forbidden side of spinjitsu so you could be a mere lackey to the President of the United States. You're not just going to not dig this canal, you're going to utterly sabotage the project and render it impossible to complete.

How are you going to do that?