Zoostuck 3

Empty a revolver's entire clip 666 times.

That's a lot of bullets! In the time it would take you to load and fire that many times, you could dig a canal clear to the other side of the continent... oh, right, that's what you were trying to do.

Well, you don't have the time you need to either dig a canal or attempt to contact the Devil with 3996 bullets. You're going to need something faster, and you're all out of carrier pigeons!

time travel

You don't have access to time travel, either! If you did, you'd just bring the canal here from the future after you finished digging it so you wouldn't have to bother with digging it. You're pretty sure that's how time travel works.

use culturally appropriated smoke signals

Well, you could make smoke signals, but you don't actually know anything about them. And how's the devil going to see them all the way in Hell, anyways?

telegram

A telegram! Yes, those were invented in 1800, so you should have access to them. You're sure that if you can find a telegraph operator they can contact Satan. You ask Alejandro where the nearest telegraph office is.

He informs you that the only telegraph office in the entire country was blown up during the revolution that you aided because you wanted to dig this canal. Well, that's just great. He helpfully points out the general direction you can find the rubble in if you want to take a look.

What are you going to do now?