Zoostuck 3

write PANAMA on your dollars

That would be a waste of perfectly good American dollars! Now, if you had someone else's perfectly good American dollars, that would be another matter, but you're not going to deface your own hard-earned currency for this. Maybe if there was a bank, but you're having enough trouble finding businesses as it is. You can barely remember what you even wanted them for in the first place, although you're sure it was important to the future of America.

ask the devil about his dollar collection

Wait, of course! You'll do what any great American president would do, and ask the Devil for help!

Except, how are you going to contact him? Jogh Edgebert isn't allowing telephones until 1920, and without them you can't dial the number 6 666 times.