Zoostuck 3

Stick the nametag on the lawyer. He's John now. Bye.

Perfect. You'll hoist this overzealous lawman by his own petard, or rather your own name. As he draws near, you slap the nametag on him, turning his name into John Egbert.

That's only a temporary solution, however. You will need to regain your name in order to properly reboot the universe. While the lawyer is looking in shock at the nametag on his shirt, you have a brief chance to act.

Feed him to an ABYSS

So you toss him into the approaching maw of the legal abyss. Hopefully once it's done with him you can retrieve your name. If not, well, you'll just devise another brilliant plan when the time comes.

Meanwhile, Pooplord appears to have beaten the giant bat into submission with the sheer force of his stupidity. This could be a problem, as no doubt once he finishes with that small matter, he will turn his attention to you.

How will you defend yourself against him?