Zoostuck 3

the dog

Ah, yes, the dog that sweats because Jogh Edgebert doesn't really understand canine physiology.

You are now that dog and you still have a vaguely defined important mission that involves not getting your hair cut. This seems like a narratively appropriate time to reveal it.

The true nature of your important mission is...

Go to page 26

...that you have been hiding Page 26 in your hair this whole time and you couldn't get your hair cut because that might expose or damage it?

Seriously? How does that even work, numbers don't go that high any more, and the whole excuse behind Page 24's significance was that it was Edgebert's favorite number...

But twenty-six is mine.

Um. Who said that... oh, the remains of the previous narrator are glowing a strange color, I guess it's narrating from beyond the grave.

Indeed I am. I was aware of the possibility of a threat to the narration itself, so I prepared the dog with a page that would let me return. And it is clear what must be done now.

Well, if you say so.

Think about it, new one. With all the scheming and counter-scheming, can it be mere coincidence that I was replaced with you? That there is something I can do that you cannot?

I... of course. It makes perfect sense, or at least as much as anything makes sense in this adventure.

Indeed. Permit me, then, to narrate for the one individual who can save this universe from destruction.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

You are now Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Except, for the last few months, your name has been Dwayne "The Rock" Zoosmellson for reasons beyond your comprehension.

But this is a minor problem compared to the universe falling apart around you. You have a feeling that you should do something about that. More accurately, you have a feeling that you are the only one who can.

How, then, will you save this universe?