Zoostuck 3

didn't satan turn his collection into something else? why don't you offer him a collection of perfectly generic dollar bills (which are something else) in exchange for his something elses

He didn't change them, he just wrote "BUTTS" on them all in hopes of fooling Madden. It still works for an ironic death. But you still need to figure out how you're going to find the collection.

Incompetently.

Well now! You do not appreciate extrauniversal voices judging your competence, any more than you appreciate bizarre extranarrative entities doing so. You are a perfectly competent manifestation of Fate, even if you don't care for the paperwork, and...

Oh. You seem to have opened your portal right into Satan's office. Where he's staring at you expectantly.

You are now Satan. You stopped paying attention to what was going on in the mortal world hours ago. Fate has just popped into your office. You suspect he's after your butts collection because you suspect everyone is after your butts collection.

How are you going to protect your extremely important collection from him?