Zoostuck 3

it is destiny

Uh, yeah, destiny is under your purview. But actively killing someone requires more than just spouting platitudes.

Money

Oh, that's perfect. An ironic death! Let Madden be destroyed by the money he pursued so voraciously in life!

But you'll need a lot of money to do that, and Madden has most of it. The only other sizable source of money you can think of is Satan's generic dollar bill collection.

The Third Person is amused. All the narrator rock can do is send arbitrarily selected characters to look for arbitrary items in order to meet arbitrary goals. As though such insignificant acts could possibly thwart me or stop the imminent destruction of the universe.

Hey, it's worked before! Anyways, as a physical embodiment of the abstract concept of Fate, you can pop into Hell any time you want. But Satan's probably not going to part with his collection so easily. How are you going to handle this?

Fate will handle it incompetently, no doubt.

No one asked you.