Zoostuck 3

burn your generic dollar bill collection

Burn it? After all the trouble you went through to collect every one of these generic dollar bills? Why the you would you do that? If that's the best idea you can come up with, you'd be better off just handing the collection to Madden on a silver platter.

It's not currency.

But wait! Madden wants money. Maybe you could pass off your collection as something other than money so he wouldn't care about it. But what the here could you disguise it as?

It's butts

Aw, to here with it. You just take out a labeler and slap "BUTTS" on every part of your collection that in any way indicates monetary status or value.

Okay, now that your generic butts collection is secure, it's time to start planning some wickedness.

You are now the barely-remembered individual known only as Nagito Komaeda and your evil plan is a total mess. Somehow a narrator must have learned of it, but that would be impossible unless the narrator were a rock.

As absurd a concept as that is, you can see no other conclusion that can explain your numerous setbacks. It therefore follows that someone must have manipulated events to grant a rock the powers of narration. Such an individual would have to be even more cunning and manipulative than you, which would be no small feat.

But who could it be? Edgebert is dead, and if he were the true mastermind he surely would have simply retained control. Egbert and his patron would have recreated the universe by now if they were the ones manipulating events. The dark Spinjitsu master's reign barely lasted, and his manipulation was centered on Edgebert. You had your plans succeed far ahead of schedule, preventing you from truly taking advantage of them. Johnsmell Madden is the current ruler, but he lacks any capacity for subtle manipulation; he governs the universe through fear alone.

Some other entity must be manipulating all of you for its own purposes. But who - or what - could that be? Clearly you are the only one with the intellect to process this information...

Which is probably why someone just shot you.

You are now Fate and you are really annoyed. Someone who is not in any of the universal records has just died, and since you got stuck with Death's job, you're the one who has to sort out this mess. That means you've got no idea which afterlife they get sent to.

So what are you going to do?