Hebrews 10:31

Now how did the fact that you acted personally convince the board that your army wasn't there? You obviously delegated other enforcement tasks to your army. Why, they should be flattered that you considered them important enough to attend to personally.

Anyways, just find some disgruntled fast food employees, give them decent wages, and tell them to keep an eye on the board that was keeping their salaries down. No need to make this complicated.