Zoostuck 3

sheepishly suggest that maybe this bet isn't so great after all, haha, and we should all calm down and call it off

Yeah, there's no way he'll go for that now. He's just going to think, correctly, that you don't want to pay up. Maybe if you somehow convinced him he was going to lose and you were offering him a chance to back out gracefully, but what are the odds of that?

Maybe, if you somehow get really fast, then the guy will lose the bet because he said he had a thousand fast cars and if you're faster, then they must be slow cars and thus, you win.

Of course! Semantics work every time! Except for one thing, you're a snail. You're not fast at all. You're even slower than you'd normally be due to the uncreative nature of the universe exaggerating all of your major traits.

Too bad, that would be a really good way of winning this bet... wait, what's that smell?

Are you on fire?

eat flame

YOU'RE ON FIRE AAAGGGHHH

YOU WANT TO RUN AND RUN AND RUN BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE EXAGGERATEDLY SLOW YOU JUST END UP BEING SLIGHTLY SLOWER THAN AN OLD MAN WITH A CANE PASSING BY

YOU'RE SO DESPERATE THAT YOU START EATING THE FIRE BUT THAT JUST BURNS YOUR TONGUE NOW YOU DESPERATELY NEED WATER AAAGGHHH

You are now an old man with a cane. There's a snail on fire nearby that's slightly slower than you are.

How do you intend to deal with this?