Zoostuck 3

Are you sure you aren't a raven?

Raven, crow, blackbird, same difference. You're not going to go around saying "Nevermore!" in any case.

when the early bird gets the worm, consume them. They are the first ones to arrive, therefore, they will be killed. Make sure it's on the road.

Uh, the problem with this plan is you're the early bird here. At least, you're the first bird on the scene. Plus the road is still a mile away! Oh, and you hate worms. There isn't a single aspect of this plan that helps you in any way!

Moo. Don't stop. Ever.

Suddenly, you get a brilliant idea. You will persuade these non-crows that you're one of them by imitating their call. You're pretty sure that humans moo, so you start doing that.

This seems to have gotten their attention, and they all seem totally intimidated by your superior call, and not merely baffled at the sight of a crow mooing. Now you can make your move! Just as soon as you think of it.

peck their neck

Eh, no sense making this complicated, just peck their necks until they do what you say. You start with the one with the most limbs, which is clearly the alpha human.

You are now the alpha human, which is to say you are a space lizard with four arms and three legs. A tiny and very intimidating Earth creature is attempting to peck your neck, but it's having trouble finding it because you don't have much of a neck.

What are you going to do?