Zoostuck 3

Win first, think later.

Well, you've already won.

Okay, maybe not technically, but it's quite impossible for you to lose. And if you don't pick out your prize in advance, you run the risk of getting so caught up in the thrill of victory that you end up asking for nothing at all, or for something useless.

The secret of spinjitsu

Of course! Long have you sought the secrets of... whatever that was. Well, okay, not that long, but you're sure the tornado knows them.

Wait, what secrets are we talking about here?

The power to blow like a champion

Ah, of course! What better way to humiliate your fallen foes by claiming their greatest strengths, even the ones that don't actually help you win your limbo competitions?

Regardless, now that you've decided, you wait for the tornado to issue the challenge.

And wait.

And wait.

The tornado does not seem to be issuing any challenges. Well, this is disappointing.

You are now somebody in a completely different place who is nonetheless closely related to these events. Who are you, where are you, and how are you involved in this mess?