Zoostuck 3

You're going to pry open his nose

You decide to take the direct approach and simply force open the human's nose so he can hear you. After all, you have twice as many hands as he does. You pry his hands off and, just to be sure, pull on his nostrils before yelling into them that you would like directions back to your planet-ship.

The human gets an uncomfortable expression on his face and then passes out. This is not going well. You may need a different approach.

Or you could just use one of those fortune teller things everybody used in like, the fifth grade

Fortune teller thing? You have never heard of such a device. But, now that you think about it, you do have a portable prophecy-maker! You had completely forgotten about it because you thought it was malfunctioning when it prophesied that you would get lost and be unable to find your way back to the planet-ship. That was almost as ridiculous as the prophecy that the universe would be rewritten by a talentless hack.

Well, considering you have no other source of information, you might as well use it. You ask the device for a prophecy.

> Play Oregon Trail

The device gives you a prophecy that you will play Oregon Trail. Well, that was useless! Oregon isn't even in the universe any more, although you aren't sure how you know that or that it ever was. You're not going to find your way back to the planet-ship this way, let alone inadvertently drag this human with you to the surface so he can be launched out of a catapult to the moon.

You are now someone in Oregon, despite the fact that Oregon no longer exists in this universe. Who are you and how did this happen?