Zoostuck 3

Engineer a catapult that throws humans to the moon. Very quickly though, so they don't have to worry about oxygen too much.

There's a bunch of them at Applebee's, build your base of operations there.

Oxygen is not a factor. Edgebert is far too uncreative to imagine a universe with such complex concepts as "breathing" or "explosive decompression". Surviving in space is simple. The issues are getting into space, and propulsion once you're there.

And an ordinary Applebee's catapult does not have enough force in it to throw someone into space. You would need modifications, not to mention some means to propel your unsuspecting agents to the moon once they left the atmosphere.

But what could that be?

Fireworks.

Ah, of course. Fireworks. It should be a simple matter to enhance the catapult with them and provide the passenger a few extras to propel to the moon.

Now you merely need some incompetent dupe who you can lure into the catapult and persuade to go hunting for moonglasses, since obviously you're not foolish enough to put yourself at risk for such a dangerous endeavor.

You are now Zoosmell Pooplord and you are the incompetent dupe who is inevitably going to be lured into a firework-powered catapult that will launch you towards the moon. Except you're at the bottom of the Marianas Trench and your doppelganger is somewhere on the earth's surface. So what contrived process is going to get you to the catapult at Applebee's?