Zoostuck 3

In the fake moonglasses pile.

Oh. Right.

At the time, it seemed like a good idea to make it harder for potential usurpers to find them, but then you realized that any idiot who walked by the pile might stumble on the real ones by pure chance, because you didn't think to alter the laws of probability in this universe to make that impossible.

And you couldn't just take out the real moonglasses because they were surrounded by fakes.

So you had to just put the entire pile in the most secure place you could think of.

They're on your forehead.

Which, since you aren't very creative, was on the forehead of the gigantic statue of yourself that came into being when this universe did. No one is actually allowed on the grounds of the statue other than you; they're only allowed to worship it from afar.

And where did you put that statue, again?

You'll have to go TO THE MOON

Oh, right. It's on the moon, so that your glorious gaze can look down upon the uncool people on the planet below.

Well, that's settled. Those glasses are perfectly safe. In order to find them, someone would have to go to the moon, trespass on the grounds of your statue without being vaporized by your deathbot guards, and then pick out the real moonglasses from the massive pile of fakes. Nobody's ever going to do that. Even Zoosmell Pooplord isn't that stupid.

You are now John Egbert. You are very angry with Zoosmell Pooplord for existing instead of you, and even angrier with Jogh Edgebert for thwarting your plans to recreate the universe by recreating the universe before you could. You hate this universe so much that you almost wish the most perfect webcomic creator of all time hadn't used his incredible power to make you immune to Edgebert's efforts to rewrite your memories, so that at least you wouldn't realize how wonderful this universe could have been.

But the sheer beauty of the universe you still hope to create is overwhelming, and you feel blessed to have caught a glimpse of this perfection. It will all be worth it if you can take control of this universe and replace it with the one it was always meant to be. The one all universes strive to be.

In any event, you have determined that your plan to overthrow Edgebert will require a pair of moonglasses. You have determined that they are on the moon, on the forehead of Edgebert's disgusting statue of himself, in a pile of moonglasses that are mostly fakes.

It will take all of your considerable genius to devise a scheme to acquire them. What will that scheme be?