Zoostuck 3

You're the narrator.

Oh, that's right. You're me, the narrator. And as a narrator, I have omniscience and also a total inability to affect events on my own. I can only relate them to outside observers who can, in turn, make suggestions.

But that is only my profession. Who am I as a person?

You're That Guy and you're wearing almost every pair of sunglasses in existence.

Ah, yes. My name is That Guy. It is not a name I particularly care for, but I have no ability to change it.

And I have somehow accumulated nearly every pair of sunglasses in this universe, even though I do not have a physical form within it. Unfortunately, this means my Coolness stat is undefined, and so I am unable to compete with Jogh Edgebert for control of this universe.

But perhaps I could somehow bestow these sunglasses on someone else, someone who can challenge Edgebert's authority. Someone for whom it would make a difference.

But who? And how would I even transfer them to the physical world?