Zoostuck 3

Maybe you can somehow coerce Asteroid Russia.

Oh gods, that's the worst idea. As ridiculous as the notion is that this burning ball of plasma you walk on is a moon, at least the moon is a large enough celestial body to potentially have nations on it. The idea that you have over a hundred nations on the surface of an asteroid is beyond absurd. You can't possibly work with them.

Besides, what would you even do? Have them invade Sun France first? The Asteroid Russian army is almost as laughable as their astronomical beliefs. They'd probably go the wrong way and invade Sun China instead. And it's not as if the Moonited Kingdom cares about its diplomatic status with any nation other than the Moonited States.

Wait. That might just work. Perhaps you could convince the Moonited States that this invasion is a bad idea. Except they're even more lunar than this blasted country is. Who could you even convince?

You are now the Moon President of the Moonited States of Moon America. You are sick and tired of all this moon nonsense when you know perfectly well that you're on the sun and half the nation does too, but if you actually say that then the Moon Congress is sure to moon impeach you.

And the problem seems to be getting worse now that the Moonited Kingdom is in the mix. The last thing you need is for this nonsensical moon movement to gain in popularity. For instance, if one of your nations invaded a relatively sensible sun country (or even a horribly mismanaged sun country like Sun France) and forcibly converted them to a moon country. That's exactly what you don't want happening.

Fortunately there's no risk of that... oh, wait, the moon-wiretap you have on the Moon Prime Minister of the Moonited Kingdom informs you that he just told his Moon Minister of Moon Defense or whatever to invade "that country that foolishly calls itself Sun France".

Well. That's more than a little inconvenient. What are you going to do about this?